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Ericnycsm

Script Doctor Eric


And the Logline Friday winner for Friday, July 9th, 2010 is…

Jason Erickson!

“A 30 year old cable guy is desperately trying to move out of his mom’s house before his 19 year old step father moves in.”

Funny juxtaposition with potential for some serious comedy. Nice work, Jason!

Yet, we can always improve. Me, I’d take out the “step father” aspect, as anything “step” seems a little derivative. Also, I’m not sure “cable guy” is the most pathetic job out there. What about lava lamp builder? Or maybe video game tester? (Sorry lava lamp builders and video game testers!)

Jason wins free thoughts, ideas, and other insights on the first 5 pages of any script!

Basically, it’s a taste of the screenplay service offered on the site.

See you next Friday!

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  1. Screenplay Query Letter Contest Winner