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Ericnycsm

Script Doctor Eric


Query: KILLSIGHT

by Josh Barbee

Premise: In an attempt to find her estranged father, Hope finds herself in harm’s way at every turn as everyone she comes into contact with is overcome with the sudden urge to kill her. Rescued by a stranger named Danny, Hope puts her life in his hands as the one person who is mysteriously unaffected by her presence. Together, the duo travel the backroads in Danny’s car, finding it increasingly difficult to stay away from the rest of the world’s population, in hopes of finding a place Hope can call home, but more importantly, a place she can call safe.


I have been approached about screenplays by MARIANAS PRODUCTIONS. I spend a lot of free time writing, and when I’m not writing, I am thinking of new stories to write.

I hope you will give me the opportunity to submit KILLSIGHT to you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Josh Barbee

Why KILLSIGHT Won

by Script Doctor Eric

Josh’s query is a bit long for my taste, but not long enough to lose me.

In one paragraph, he gives the thrust of the plot, but leaves enough mystery to leave the reader wanting more (ie: the script). While the first sentence could be considered a run-on, I let it slide because the hook is so compelling. A women who elicits the killing urge from everyone she meets? Why does that happen? How will she find out why that happens? How is this related to her estranged father?

The query has me asking questions, demanding answers – answers that can only be found in the script. Good work, Josh.

Onward!

-Eric

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