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Ericnycsm

Script Doctor Eric

The winner of Logline Friday for September 17th, 2010 is…

Carla!

“After his girlfriend says I love you, a young man panics and breaks up with her.  He wakes the next morning to find that every woman now looks like his ex.”

It reminds me a little of that scene from BEING JOHN MALKOVICH where everyone is John Malkovich (“Malkovich Malcovich?”), and intrigues me as a romantic comedy premise.  How will he get out of this one?

Carla submitted a similar logline last week.  This time, however, it’s much more specific, concentrating on the main hook and not diverting.

A lot of people pack TOO MANY DETAILS in their loglines.  More often than not, that confuses the reader.  Stick to the strongest point of your script, and let the reader learn the rest when the read it.

Carla wins FREE NOTES on the first 5-10 pages of her script AND a ten minute phone phone consultation! (Surprise prize!)

Thanks to everyone who entered, and be sure to participate in the upcoming Logline Friday…the prize is from the one and only Ashley Meyers of Selling Your Screenplay

Onward!

-Eric

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